Dax's Journal

Boy or girl?

I love the techniques people use to try to figure out if I'm having a boy or a girl. I'm not showing yet, so they can't base it on whether I'm carrying high or low or whether I am only big in the belly or if my butt and hips are bigger. But that's ok because there are plenty of other ways to tell. Apparently.

I've been asked:
Is my hair growing faster?
Is my husband gaining weight?
Is my mom's hair grey?
Do I sleep with my pillow to the north or the south?
Am I craving sweet or salty things?
When I add my age and the month of conception, is it an even or an odd number?

General consensus at this moment is that I'm having a girl. Perhaps the strongest indicator of the gender of my child is the woman at work who has "never been wrong before". She did guess that my friend Julie is having a boy. So, who knows?

We do plan to find out. Some people ask me if that won't spoil the surprise. Truly, I am so surprised to finally be having a baby that knowing if it is a boy or girl isn't going to spoil that.

There's a white board in my cubicle at work and my coworkers have started a betting pool on the gender of the child. They are also listing suggested names. The names are appalling. I am not going to name my child Cooter, Buckwheat, or Murphita. Those are some of the better ones. (Does anyone else think these sound like names that Sean would suggest???)

It will be nice to know what we are having so we know if we should be looking for a boy name or a girl name. Although, I'm told it is a good idea to have a "reserve" name in case the gender prediction was incorrect.

Better

I was sorta scared to mention this for fear I would jinx myself.

I think my morning/afternoon/evening sickness has lifted. Brushing my teeth is still quite an adventure, but eating has gotten much better.

I'm noticing my cravings changing. When I was getting so sick, I was craving things like bread and macaroni and potatoes. Today I was dying for a Greek salad. And that is what I'm eating right now.

For the last three months, I've had to plug my nose when Cat ate. Right now, it is my food that is grossing him out. Revenge! :)

On Friday I had some black bean soup and I dumped a small container of cottage cheese into it. Mmmmmm. My friends at work said that the "weird pregnancy cravings" were beginning. But I don't think that was all that strange.

Cat's mom made some filipino candy for me today. It seemed more like a donut than candy. It was called Bitso-Bitso and it tasted pretty good. Not as good as my stinky greek salad, but still good.

This is one of the indicators to me that I'm feeling better. There is no way I would have experimented with food when I was feeling so lousy.

It is interesting what people have to say about what you eat during pregnancy. I've had people tell me that I'll eat what the baby needs and wants. I've had people tell me that my baby will like the foods I eat the most. I've had people say that my baby will hate the foods I eat the most. I've been telling people my baby is a vegetarian because he/she keeps sending meat back. Based on these "old wives tales" my kid will either be vegetarian or a complete carnivore.

Wow

Yep. As Cat said, this is definitely his kid. The baby even does the weird Cat wave.

I can't express how incredible it was to see the baby today. That little heart was just fluttering away and the baby was doing this amazingly complex water ballet of sorts. I can't believe something is moving inside of me like that I can't even feel it. That doesn't seem possible.

Marion says I'm measuring a bit big and she's wondering if my date could be off. This means that I get to go in another two weeks and have a REAL ultrasound with the fancy schmancy machine. Cat will be able to go along with me to that one. We still won't be able to tell the sex of the baby at that time, but we will get a more official dating on how far along I am. Then I'll have another one at around 20 weeks when we will hopefully be able to determine what we are having.

I'm also starting to feel much, much better. The morning/afternoon/evening sickness is lifting. I'm quite excited that it is 7:30 PM and I'm still awake. Usually, I'm snoring away by now.

Tomorrow I get to tell my mom and dad. We wanted to tell them tonight but my mom is at my Gram's house and won't be back with dad until tomorrow and we want to tell them together. That will just be the beginning of the calls and announcements and the sharing-of-the-happy-news.

Preliminary Embry

I was at work today sitting at my computer with my tunes (BNL, Rush, Megadeth, and Dave Mathews) getting me through the day. Being a drummer, I tend to drum along with the music. You know, fingers tapping and feet stomping a groove. I guess you could call me fidgety.

While I was fidgeting at work, Michelle was visiting the doctor getting an ultrasound. I wasn't there for today's ultrasound because it wasn't an official appointment. But Michelle says this kid is definitely my kid.

Meet Embry. Embry says "Hi!"

Embry spins a lot with arms flailing, always in motion. I guess you could call Embry fidgety.

Crying Stimuli I

Picture a helicopter hovering above an 11-foot elephant in the African plains. The elephant is freaking out. His ears and the trees and brush around him are flapping around because of the helicopter's propellers. Looking down at the elephant from high above, some guy with a dart gun is about to take down the elephant, hopefully with a single shot. They want to knock out the elephant so that they can transport him to some refuge.

Cue Michelle's crying.

Lullaby

In my mind, I sing lullabies to this baby.

I wonder sometimes if there is some link between us, some method of communicating that doesn't require sound. I often find myself patting my belly, cooing silently, "You're ok," and singing these songs.

I can't wait to hold this child. I can't wait to place my hand on the warm, soft skin of my baby's back. I can't wait to stare endlessly at this tiny face, feel little fingers and toes wiggling, hear the sweet soft sounds the baby will make. I can't wait to smell that little hollow at the back of my baby's neck. I can't wait to watch my husband soothing our child.

Our child. We're having a baby.

Lullaby, twilight is spreading
Silver wings over the sky;
Fairy elves are softly treading,
Folding buds as they pass by.
Lullaby, whisper and sigh,
Lullaby, lullaby.

10 Week Appointment

I had my 10-week appointment today and met Marion, the nurse practitioner that I'll be seeing through most of the pregnancy. She is WONDERFUL! I'll be back and forth between her and my doctor (who is also WONDERFUL).

Marion won me over immediately by calling me "Girl" and by apologizing for being late. She's so easy to talk to and she has a great sense of humor. She's also very calming which can be a very valuable thing when considering that an entire human being is growing inside of me and I will eventually have to get it out of me. Marion also laughed when I said that my enormous pregnant belly will have the added benefit of making my butt look smaller. I like people who laugh at my jokes.

The appointment, however, was uneventful. We were hoping to hear the heartbeat even though everything we read said 10 weeks was too early. She gave it a valiant effort. The cool thing is that she is going to let me come back in two weeks instead of in four weeks so we can try again. She also said we may be able to do a sneak peek ultrasound. The "real" ultrasound will be at 20 weeks.

I've also requested an appointment with the prenatal nutritionist to make sure that I am eating right. Because I've had so much trouble with morning sickness, I'm concerned that the baby might not be getting the nutrients he/she needs. Marion says I shouldn't worry but was very supportive of my desire to see the nutritionist.

We also went over my blood test results. I can't believe the things I get excited about now that I've got a bun in the oven. I was pleased (but not surprised) to find that I don't have any horrible ailments like HIV, syphilis, or hepatitis. I'm immune to German measles. Marion says my blood count is "perfect"! (Go me! Go me!) I've never been more willing to pee in a cup because I know some nice nurse is going to stick a test strip in and and declare, "That's great! Looks good!"

Poor Cat sat in the waiting room for two hours and didn't get called in until we tried to hear the heartbeat. All he got to hear was my heartbeat and I just don't think he was all that impressed. I don't know if he'll be able to make the next appointment but he'll definitely be on board for the 20 week ultrasound. That should be infinitely more interesting than what he experienced today.

10 weeks

I'm going into my 10th week of pregnancy this week. From what I've read, the baby is an inch or two long. Embry (which is what Cat has been calling the little "it" since we found out we were expecting) is already swallowing and kicking, and all the vital organs are formed. In the next three weeks, the baby's length will double. Embry is already starting to grow fingernails and peach-fuzz hair.

As for me, I'm still exhausted and sick. I've been having really bizarre and vivid dreams which I've read is fairly common during pregnancy. A lot of my dreams involve the baby. At first I was dreaming that Embry was a boy. Last night I had my first dream where Embry was a girl.

Just in case you were wondering, we will definitely be finding out the sex of the baby beforehand. That is, of course, assuming that our child is not shy and will not hide his/her bits from us during the ultrasound.

It is KILLING me to keep this secret still from family, but we agreed to wait until we get out of the first trimester before telling those closest to us. If you are reading this a few weeks from now and wondering how we kept it secret? Well, it was difficult. Mostly difficult on Cat because he had to listen to my continous, "Can I tell now? How about now? Now? Can I tell?"

Right now we are trying to think up creative ways to tell people. The problem is that everyone lives far away and it is slightly more difficult to be creative when your method of communicating is limited to phone, e-mail, or snail mail. Besides, by the time we can tell I will be so excited that I might just blurt it out.

The only person we'll probably get to tell in person is Cat's mom. I can't wait to see her reaction that she's finally going to be a grandmother after years of listening to her say, "I would like to hold my grandbaby before I die!" Cat thinks she will say, "Finally!"

I know that my parents will be really excited and surprised. They already have three grandbabies but I'm certain they won't mind another one.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my family and wishing we all lived closer. I have this little fantasy that all of us living scattered across the US will move back to Colorado. (My cousin Tosha and I have semi-seriously talked about buying houses next door to each other somewhere in the mountains. Our kids will play together and she will have a cattery.)

I think of how I grew up spending loads of time with my grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousins. I remember all our family traditions and fabulous holidays together and I want Embry to have that same experience and sense of family. I have no idea if we will ever all end up in the same place again, but it is a comforting thought all the same.