Dax's Journal

A Letter to My Son - 4 months

Dear little one,

Today is your four month birthday. It is amazing to me that you have only been part of our lives for such a short time. But what a time it has been. I've never been so happy and I've never known a love so simple and so pure.

As I write this, you are finally allowing yourself to drift to sleep for the first nap of the day. You have become distinctly anti-nap in the past couple of weeks. There is just so much to do and you don't seem to want to take a break. I always know when you are tired because you suck your thumb and rub your head. When you do sleep you move all over the place, often ending up in an entirely different place facing in a completely different direction than where I laid you down.

You've found your voice by now and you spend a lot of time "talking". I try to get you to say "mama" and "dada" but you just smile at me. Sometimes when I call your name you look over at me as if you know that I'm talking to you. Often when I ask you a question you will answer me in a stream of babble with such a serious look on your face.

At this point you can roll over from front to back and from back to front but you haven't figured out that you could just keep rolling and transport yourself in that manner. And I am very glad of that because we are not ready for you to be mobile, yet. You most enjoy standing up, whether in your exersaucer or with someone helping you to balance. You are also starting to enjoy tummy time a bit more and you can even do a mini-pushup for a short time. You love to do baby sit-ups, pulling yourself up by clinging to my fingers. When you get yourself pulled up, you grin so widely. Sometimes you laugh and my heart just melts.

You and I have learned to really love your bath times. You make such a mess, kicking your feet until you cause a veritable tidal wave. I always end up soaking wet. You can sit up in your little tub now and that makes it a lot easier on both of us. You've recently started to do something funny when I have you sitting up with my arm in front of you to support you. You bend your head down and suck on my arm. It doesn't matter if I just fed you or not. You will contort yourself and grunt until you get my forearm in your mouth and then happily suck away.

You love to play with toys now and you got a ton of them for your very first Christmas. Although, you mostly enjoyed playing in the wrapping paper.

Your favorite toy of the moment is definitely your exersaucer. You also love to play with your linkadoos. You have so many toys. There is never a dull moment.

You also love to play with your friend Miranda. We have play dates with Miranda and your Auntie Siobhan every week. When I have to go back to work and you have to go to daycare, it may be harder for all of us to get together but we will make it work.

Soon we'll be going to your four month appointment with Dr. P. You'll have to get more shots again and mommy will probably cry right along with you. We'll also be talking to Dr. P about when to start you on solid foods. That's amazing to me that you may already be ready for that milestone. These four months have gone by so very quickly.

Your daddy and I love you so much. We are so happy that you came into our lives. Every day we cuddle you, kiss you, hug you, and tell you that we love you. This you can count on. Every day.

I hear you stirring already. I'm sure you'll be waking soon so I'd better stop writing. I love you so, my Little Pooh.

Love,
Mommy

Solitary Confinement

Last Saturday night, I started to feel like crap. Throat started to itch and hurt. Legs started to feel achy and tired. I knew I was getting sick.

Now, the “Pre-baby Cat” would have continued on with the usual ways. Exercising, riding bikes, staying up till 1am playing video games, mowing the lawn….you name it, I would do it. Inevitably, I would get to the point where I would stay sick for two weeks. The kind of sick where you’re hacking and coughing, running into walls because of the dizziness, and having lungs filled with goo for two weeks. After the two weeks, that’s when I would eventually start to get better. And THEN, I would have a lingering cough for another three weeks. Trust me on the timeline; I’ve done it many times.

But this time, the “Post-baby Cat” actually voluntarily relegated himself to the back bedroom. No video games or mowing the lawn. I actually rested, slept, and ate. It was tough, but for four long days, I stayed away from Dax and Michelle. Yup, four days. I was sick for four days.

After those four days, I actually drove the family around for the holidays and had Mike and Nath visit us, all the while my not being sick.

It’ll be a totally different story when Dax actually starts going to Daycare. The Daycare where sickness proliferates: The Home of Green Elevens and Sneezing Fits.

But before Dax goes into Daycare, if we just happen to keep Dax sick-free for his first six months of life while his immune system further develops? I’ll take that.

17 weeks

Dax spent a lot of time this last week laughing. Loudly. At unpredictable things. Can I just tell you that his laugh is the most incredible and adorable sound I think I've ever heard? I am totally living to make this kid laugh, now.

His first Christmas was wonderful. He was spoiled silly, of course. I offered to help him write his thank you cards because his handwriting is terrible.

This weekend Dax and I got to meet Cat's best friend Mike and his beautiful and very cool wife Nath. Don't tell them, but I'm thinking of having them kidnapped and "relocated" to our neighborhood. Mike is every bit as funny and nice as I expected and I felt so comfortable with Nath that it seemed strange that we were meeting for the first time. Sadly, they only got to stay for a few hours.

We also went to visit Auntie Janice (Dax's Godmother) and Uncle John. He spent some quality snuggle time with Janice and John's whistling fascinated him.

You know, I've been thinking a lot about how very lucky Cat, Dax, and I are because of the number of amazing and wonderful people in our lives. I am so glad that Dax will have oodles of honorary aunts and uncles who love him as much as his blood family does.

Merry Christmas

PRESENTS!!!!!

Roley Poley the Sequel

Dax finally figured out how to roll from back to front today. He did it over at Siobhan's house while enjoying a date with his little girlfriend, Miranda. Siobhan and I both missed it. The second time, though, we all saw it.

I tried to get him to repeat his latest skill for his daddy tonight. No go. But as soon as Cat left the room....over he went. Little turkey.

I'm hoping it takes him awhile to figure out that he could potentially roll all about the great room. We haven't baby proofed yet.

16 Weeks

I've been fattening this kid up for 16 weeks now. He's plump as a goose and sweet as pie and I'm thinking of serving him up for our Christmas dinner.

Cat has developed The Crud and has been banished to the guest room for the past two days. I'm really hoping that Dax and I don't catch it. I'm also hoping that Cat feels better soon. I miss him.

I've been trying to take care of Cat so he can get over this stuff quickly. This means lots of trips back and forth fetching water and soup and whatnot. Today I found myself thinking that this must be what it is like to have two kids. But then I realized that even though I have to fetch and carry for Cat, he can still feed himself and he doesn't wear a diaper. And then I thought to myself that anyone who says having two kids isn't any more work than having one must be totally full of crap.

Dax has grown enough that we no longer have to use the car seat when we put him in the stroller. This is very convenient for several reasons. Mostly because Dax's snuggly bunting fits better in the stroller than the carseat. My friend Kristin gave this to Dax. It is fabulous! I wish I had one for myself. It keeps him so toasty we can walk on even the coldest nights.

We've got a big week ahead of us, providing our health holds out. Dax and I are supposed to have lunch with my boss tomorrow. We have plans for another play date with Miranda and Siobhan on Wednesday. On Thursday we are all driving over to Discovery Bay to visit Janice and John. Friday is Christmas Eve and we are meeting up with friends early in the evening and then opening presents later.

We're still waiting for Dax to roll from back to front. He's so close and I can tell it is frustrating to him. Tonight he had his lower body flipped over but his arm was in the way and preventing him from getting the top half of his body flipped over. Poor little dude. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon.

Just in case I don't get a chance to update again before the holiday....I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. We'll be thinking of you all.

Play Date Part Deux

Dax and Miranda had another play date the other day. They are so smitten with each other. Siobhan and I love watching them interact and listening to them "talk" to each other.

When he's with Miranda, Dax doesn't want to nap. But eventually, he will. He will because he is incapable of staying awake any longer.

This picture was taken just after he composed himself from a small "I-am-so-very-tired-but-I-don't-want-to-sleep-because-I'll-miss-something-fun" meltdown. Miranda has her hand on his leg as if to say, "There, there. It's ok."

Then she decided to take advantage of the cozy couch, the sleepy boy, the silly mommies with their cameras. Snuggle time!

Of course Dax fell asleep, thereby proving that he is 100% boy.

Siobhan and I were thinking these would be great pictures to pull out and show them on their prom night. Or at their wedding. Premature? Maybe just a bit.

15 Weeks

Around here we are decking the halls in preparation for Dax's first Christmas. Sure, he won't remember it. But we'll have some excellent pictures.

See, I think it is perfectly acceptable to buy oneself a Christmas gift BEFORE Christmas if said gift is imperative for proper capturing of Priceless Christmas Memories. Especially if someone (like maybe Gram) sent a most excellent Christmas gift of cash to be used toward the purchase of said gift. (Note: It was in a card, people. I did not open any wrapped gift early.)

Anyway....can you guess what gift we bought?

Here's a hint.

Look at the clarity of this picture of Dax illustrating how very big he is getting at 15 weeks. That's nearly four months. That's nearly taking his SATs and moving away to college. Give me a moment to compose myself.

Wow! What a great picture! It's as if we had a brand new digital camera or something. (THANK YOU, GRAM!) We may still need to have a bake sale or something. But, who cares? New digital camera!

Look, even Dax is happy. It's as if he is saying, "Finally, you have a camera worthy of my cuteness."

Tonight we're going to go get a Christmas tree so we'll be able to take proper pictures. Our cool neighbor, Becky, offered to let me take pictures in front of their tree. When I suggested that to Cat, I had to wrestle the phone out of his hands before he could call Child Protective Services. So, yeah. We're getting a tree. I'd hate for Dax to grow up bitter because he didn't have pictures in front of the tree for his very first Christmas ever. Who knows how many years of therapy he would need to get over that.

Dax takes a stand

Dax has decided that laying down is for babies. His most favorite activity has become standing. And, while he is quite good at it considering his age, he is far from mastering it. This means that someone must be holding him at all times. Or else.

Or else, what? Or else he begins to complain. Loudly. Insistantly. Incessantly.

At first it was just cute. "Awww! Look at the tiny little guy! How cute! He wants to stand!" Then it was more...."Again? Seriously? Did you not just stand for several minutes already?" Eventually it became all...."My arms are tired, kid. Can I please put you down for just one sec.....no? Alrighty then."

So, let me introduce you to MY favorite baby toy.

It has a bajillion little gizmos all around it to keep him entertained. But mostly? Mostly it lets him stand. Woohoo!

Yeah. He likes standing. Did I mention?

Week 14

The days of being able to sit and work on something or eat something with Dax on our laps are over. This week he learned about grabbing. He grabs anything in reach....toys, pens, noses.

He's getting so strong. He loves to stand up and can do so for quite a long time. He can support himself but his balance still needs a bit of work.


It cracks me up to see such a tiny little person trying to stand like this. I laugh and then he laughs. He's very proud of his new ability.

In these pictures he is wearing his "Baby's First Christmas" onesie that my friend Robin brought for him this weekend. I wish you could see it better in the pictures because it is adorable. (Speaking of adorable, be watching for a picture soon of the outfit his Gigi bought him for Christmas.)

Dax has also been trying to mimic sounds that we make. Tonight we were laughing because he was saying something that sounded a lot like "Hey!" He can make an "ah" sound and he can make an "mmmm" sound but he hasn't quite figured out how to put them together to say mama.

He's also producing enough drool to water both our front and back yards. Everyone thinks he's beginning the teething phase. I figure by the time he has enough drool to water all of your lawns as well, we'll see some pearly whites.

Dads and Sons

Of course, I had to bring out a baby pic of my dad and I when I was just over a year old.

It’s been almost five years since he left us. I wish he were still here to witness his grandson Dax….