Dax's Journal

Goodbye four

Dear Dax,

I'm writing this to you on the eve of your fifth birthday. FIFTH! I don't know why but this seems like such a huge milestone to me. Not to you, though. You don't seem to understand why I had to give you extra hugs and kisses tonight. You are just excited that you get to go to Funderland again tomorrow and there will be more presents to open and mommy's homemade chocolate chip cookies to eat.

I just left you in your bed reading Zach's Alligator Goes to School. You read yourself to sleep now because, after all, you are on the brink of five. I hugged you extra tight and kissed you and said, "Goodbye, four." Then I got a little misty. But not you. You grinned.

Before you went to bed tonight you and I took a stroll down memory lane. I told you about what daddy and I were doing five years ago tonight (walking, walking, walking, walking, trying to get you to COME OUTTA THERE ALREADY). I told you the story of your birth. We looked at what you looked like on August 30th from the time you were just born until last year. Tomorrow there will be more pictures that we will someday look back on and marvel at how small you were but tonight you feel bigger than big.

Four was pretty awesome, wasn't it? You did so much! You grew an unbelievable amount, learned to read, started Kindergarten. Sometimes it was hard. You are no longer willing to just do what we ask of you or to accept "because" as an answer for anything. Part of me finds that really REALLY frustrating (as you obviously know) but there's another part of me who is secretly excited to see you becoming who you are becoming. Let's face it, becoming someone requires a whole lot of rebelling against who you currently are. That makes NO sense to you right now but when you are older you will totally get it and then you will look back on some of these hard times and smile. I hope you come back and read this someday when you are grown and cheer a little bit for the little rebel you became when you were four.

Tomorrow you will wake up and you will be five. Wanna know something really bizarre? I completely remember when I woke up five. I have a very small number of memories from before then but I remember a LOT about being five. I remember Kindergarten (and I am still friends with one of my best friends from that time so think about that the next time you are missing your best friend Preston). When I was five I loved the TV show "Love American Style" and my favorite food was something I called "flat noodles" (some sort of boxed stroganoff thing). I had red sneakers.

I tell you this not so much because I think you are all that interested in what I was like when I was five but because I am excited that you are at the age where some of the memories we are building might be some of your favorites when you are grown. I have always loved building memories with you but, up until now, they were mostly memories that only I would get to keep. From here on there's a good chance that when I say, "Do you remember?" you will smile and answer "Yes!"

As you turn five you have a lot of interests and likes and dislikes (of course) that are very different from those you had when you were about to turn four. When you turned four you told me that I had to read four books to you each night (because you were four) and you promised me that you were going to start eating and listening. I must say that you held pretty true to your word. We still have some challenges with that listening thing but you are much improved.

As you turn five you are reading your own stories (although you still like for us to read to you as well). You have a herd of stuffed animals who share your bed (Horsey, Horse Horse, Thom, Lizardy, Ox, Jero, Cottonball, Stripey, Spotty). You have favorite articles of clothing that you would wear every day if you could and that makes me really happy that your school requires a uniform. You love music. You love to draw. You love to write. You draw a LOT of pictures of you and me with hearts floating around us and "MOMMY I LOVE YOU" and I can't tell you how much that means to me.

I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight, I confess. And here is where you, at almost five, would ask for a definition of that word so you could file it away in your brain only to pull it out and use it sometime when I least expect it. You are still struggling with the correct use of consternation but I really admire your effort. Just so you know, when I say I am feeling melancholy I mean that I feel a little bit sad and thoughtful. I'm only sad because the time is passing so quickly, though. You know how I always ask you to stop growing up so fast and you smile and laugh at me and say, "But I can't!"? I know that, my sweet, but I still try.

Sweet dreams, four. Five, I'll be seeing you in the morning. Hope you are well rested because we've got a wild ride ahead of us.

Love you so,

Mommy

The Ups and Downs of Kindergarten

Today marks the end of the first week of Kindergarten for Dax. He absolutely loves it. I so wish I was kidding when I say "His favorite part of school is recess!" Sadly, I'm not. My son is already a cliche.

He so loves recess that today I tried to find out a bit more about it. It is is the be all, end all of his brief school career then what makes it so spectacular?

Dax: "Well. Today? We played policeman."
Me: "You pretended you were a policeman?"
Dax: "Nooooo. ANDREW was the policeman and he had fire tickets! So when he went UP, we went DOWN. And when HE went DOWN, we went UP!"
Me (utterly confused, of course): Um. Ok. So, what else did you play?
Dax: Monsters!
Me: You pretended to be a monster?
Dax: Nooooooo. JACOB was a monster. And when he went UP, we went down and when he went DOWN, we went up! (Insert comic mutterings and giggles.)
Me: Hmmm. Ok. So....what else did you play?
Dax: STAR WARS!
Me: Really? Star Wars? I didn't even know you knew about Star Wars.
Dax: And there were bad cats! And when THEY went UP, WE went DOWN. When they went DOWN, we went up!
Me: Ok. I'm sensing a pattern here. But, wait. I didn't know there were bad cats in Star Wars.
Dax:NOOOOO! The cats are not in Star Wars. Only Dark Fader! Berkeley was Dark Fader and I was a guy with a red sword! A life saver! And I was the Skywalker!
Me: And let me guess....when Darth Vader went up you went down and....
Dax: NO! We all went UP and we went "CHING".
Me: Of course you did.

I can't wait to see what next week brings.

Another awesome Daxism

I love when kids screw up words. I love it so much that I don't want to correct them. One of my latest favorites that Dax says is "yumometer" instead of thermometer. Every time he gets in the pool for his swim lessons he tells his teacher he needs to check the "yumometer" to make sure the pool is warm because, God knows, you can't trust how the water feels.

Dax's Big Week

This weekend we had an early birthday party for Dax at Funderland. He had a blast! He kept telling everyone that it was his "pretend" birthday because he does not actually turn five until the 30th.

Here's the whole crew of them. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get a picture of them all together? My friend Wendy helped by standing next to me and meowing to indicate that I was "herding cats" but I think cats would have been more cooperative because they would not have been wanting to hurry off to get one more ride on the roller coaster.

Not sure yet what we will do for his ACTUAL birthday. I know that some more present opening will be part of the festivities (of course) but not sure what else we will do.

In other Dax news...today was his first day of Kindergarten. He was super excited and, honestly, so was I. That doesn't mean that I didn't cry though. Of course I cried. I cry at commercials. When I went to pick him up today he gave me great big hug and kiss and showed me his artwork from the day and then said, "Maybe tomorrow you can pick me up a little bit later. There are still KIDS HERE."

Change is good

A couple weeks ago Dax started in the pre-k program at Bradshaw Christian and, really, it has turned out to be one of the best decisions ever.

He loves it. We love it.

Things have been slowly improving around here. We had hit a bit of a low spot with Dax. He was acting up. He was dragging his feet in the mornings. He was declaring school was BOOOORING. He would randomly try to convince us that it was Saturday or that it was a holiday. I found myself dreading picking him up because I didn't want to hear all the things that were *wrong* with Dax's day. Cat and I talked and agreed that we felt things wouldn't (or couldn't) change where he was so it was time to move him on.

He starts Kindergarten on August 24th (which is so weird to me because he doesn't even turn 5 until August 30th). He is so excited and so ready. He adores school, loves his teachers, is making new friends. I look forward to picking him up each day and hearing such positive messages from his teachers and then listening to him chatter excitedly about everything he did that day.

I'm so glad we did this.

Swim!

Dax has taken several swimming lessons in the past and had yet to learn anything more than holding on to the side of the pool and kicking his legs while giggling like a maniac. This year we decided to try something different so we enrolled him in private lessons.

He's had four sessions and has already made more progress than ever before. He used to REFUSE to put his face in the water and was terrified of "touching the bottom" because that would mean that not only his face but HIS ENTIRE HEAD would be in the water and that was just unacceptable. It was even a chore to wash the boy's hair, such was his dislike for water on the head and face.

Now he will happily be thrust below the water to touch the bottom or leap from the edge of the pool without hesitation. He's getting better at floating, superman style, on his tummy with his face in the water (and his eyes open). But his biggest accomplishment?

He can float on his back all by himself.

I'm so proud of my little swimmer.

Lumpy Lumperson of the Clan McHive

As I've mentioned here before, Dax has this weird skin condition that causes him to break out in hives at the slightest touch. It is no longer concerning to those of us who are familiar with this tendency but it can really freak people out sometimes.

For example: The other day he had a bit of a collision with someone at karate and got an enormous lump on his head. Only it wasn't really a lump. It was a hive and it went away within 15 minutes. But his teacher and several parents thought he really must have gotten knocked pretty hard so they were impressed with the fact that he wasn't even crying.

Today he took another bonk to the head and got an actual lump but that lump also hived up like crazy so that it was so huge that it actually made his hair stick out in back. Even I had a moment of concern but it is half the size it was earlier and he seems to have forgotten all about it.

The other day at the gym one of the Kids Club employees pulled me out of class frantically explaining that Dax had a horrible rash. She neglected to check his file in which I had them place a note explaining that even his own sweat will cause him to break out in hives. I went on in and checked on him just to make her feel better and reminded them again that they could pretty much count on him being riddled with hives every time he came there since he was both sweating and taking a few bumps while he played.

It's possible he may outgrow this (and I hope he does). In the meantime, it is mostly just a hassle. He isn't self conscious about it and it doesn't seem to bother him other than the fact that sometimes it makes him itchy (and then we give him benadryl).

Of course, if he's anything like I was as a kid (and he most definitely is), he will learn to use this to his best advantage. I'm sure there will be many "Get Out of Gym Class Free" moments ahead.

Mother's Day

I forgot to tell you about my Mother's Day. Not because it wasn't worth talking about. It was. It was a lovely day.

First of all, I got this beautiful gift from Dax. He decorated the pot and planted the flower at school. Now he helps me take care of it.

I also got a handmade card and some weight lifting gloves (which I totally wanted so don't think it was a strange gift). I slept in. I did nothing. It was awesome.

At one point Dax, apparently tired of mommy getting all the special treatment, asked when kid's day was. Cat, wisely, pointed out that "Every day is kid's day!"

Dax's first job

We have the most awesome grocery store. You may think that you do but you would be wrong. Our grocery store is a Nugget Market and it is better than any other Nugget Market anywhere on earth.

Just ask Dax. He'll tell you.

Our Nugget has huge sunflowers painted around the doors so you can pretend you are a bee going into a flower. They have a big sculpture of planet earth hanging above the international foods section and you can walk around it and identify the different continents. They sometimes have fish heads and octopi in the seafood section. They have fruit punch in their fountain drink machine. They will give you a free cookie in the bakery. They sell quail eggs. And everybody knows your name. If you are Dax, they do.

The best part of all? The very most awesome, fabulous, wonderful thing? They let Dax help scan groceries at the checkout. He's become rather good at it and, at our last visit, they made him an official "New Associate in Training" and gave him a nametag.

Colorado

If you read Devin's journal you already know that he did not have the best time on our vacation because he got pneumonia. Dax, on the other hand, had a blast and did not let the fact that his baby brother "had an ammonia" get in his way of having fun.

From his viewpoint the vacation was perfect. We woke to snow on the very first morning and he got to build a snowman with his daddy. The snow was that gorgeous, huge flaked sort that looks amazing and makes awesome snowballs. It was very, very wet so the snowman had to be built a bit on the small side so that he wouldn't implode.

We got to stay the first night and, subsequently, Easter Sunday with my Aunt Carol and Uncle David. This is one of the best parts of our vacation because I can't even tell you how many years it has been since I got to talk to either one of them for any length of time without anyone else around. No offense to everyone else, I love getting to see all my family members but it was special to get to spend time with just them.

Also? They have a pool table and Dax though that was just about the coolest thing EVER.

A close second to the pool table would be the deer who showed up in the back yard. My mom has pictures of Dax feeding one of them. I just have a picture of one coming up to say hello.

The Easter Bunny had no trouble finding Dax and he hid approximately 112 eggs. That's one busy and generous rabbit. There was even a GOLDEN EGG that had a $10 bill inside of it. (Dax used some of that money to buy a second set of Barrel of Monkeys. It was his very first, all on his own purchase. He now has a set of green monkeys to join his red ones.)

Then it was off to Canon City where Dax got to see such awesome sites as the Royal Gorge, Skyline Drive, my dad's "Rock Room" and nickle slot machine, and the Arkansas river. He loved every single moment. I still think he is convinced that he saw the Grand Canyon while we were there.

He's already asking when we'll be going back.

Bunchball

Once a week, for thirty minutes, we go to the Wackford gym where Dax and 12 other 3 and 4 year olds are learning to play soccer.

I don't know who first referred to pee-wee soccer as "bunchball" (because the little ones tend to just "bunch" around the ball) but that's just such a perfect name for it. That is, once all the kids figure out that this is a game and that the point is to kick the ball into the net.

He's only had a couple of classes and, for the first one, they really only ran around a lot and learned how to do different sorts of kicks. By the second one the instructors taught the kids how to throw the ball into play and how to kick it into the goal. The kids were doing so well that they figured they'd have them do a little scrimmage.

They set up two small nets on each side of the gym (width, not length) and divided the class into two teams. (That alone was quite a task as at least two of the children were distracted by the basketball hoops and one decided it would be a whole lot more fun to stand in one corner and spin.) One of the coaches rolled the ball out between two lines of small children who stood there and stared at it until the other coach took a small girl by the hand and encouraged her to kick it. She did. Completely perpendicular to the proposed line of play.

A few of the kids decided to just go with it and complete chaos ensued.

Looks like they will need a few more classes before they are organized enough to play bunchball.

Love and Marriage

The other night Dax and I were cuddling and having a little bedtime chat when he suddenly hugged me and said, "I'm going to marry you, mommy."

I tried to explain that he couldn't marry his mommy but, quite frankly, that's not really a conversation I was ready to delve into very deeply. He's only four. He clearly didn't get it so I moved on and just said, "Besides, I'm already married to daddy."

He grabbed my hand and said, so sweetly, "I'm going to put a ring on your pinky. But you'll have to hide it behind your back because, if people see you have TWO rings, you'll be in trouble."

So that? He gets.

Smarty Pants

So, I'm knitting a scarf for Dax. At least, I'm trying to. I can't seem to get it right. And it's not like it is any sort of fancy thing. All I'm trying to do is just knit. With one color. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?

Well, I can't seem to get the tension right and some areas are loosey goosey and others are too tight. And I can't seem to get the width right. All this means that I spent at least an hour sitting here knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging. (For those of you who don't knit: Frogging is the term for undoing all that you have done. Frogs say something close to "rip it, rip it" and that's what you do when your scarf is AN ABOMINATION TO ALL THINGS CRAFTY.)

As I'm doing this my son is building a marble run. Not just any marble run, mind you. Oh, no. THIS is his marble run.

And he's building different variations. Using nothing but pictures from a booklet that came with the set.

Here is where I must confess: I have attempted, myself, to build something out of this set and I have failed miserably. I always have to tell him that he has to wait for daddy to help him because mommy can't figure it out.

It is official. My son is only four and he is smarter than me. Much, much smarter.

Maybe he can help me with this scarf.

Jump into the Wayback Machine

I felt kinda badly about Dax not having a "My First Year" video so I went and pulled some old pictures and put one together for him. Now I'm having so much fun I might go back and do one for his 2nd and 3rd years, too.

Dax's First Year from Michelle Madayag on Vimeo.

Dax's year in review

I'm a few days late with this but I hope the little end of the year picture show makes up for it.

Dax continued his fascination with robots, geography, and astronomy. He still loves maps and he got a most excellent talking globe for Christmas from my parents (which we have all had fun playing with).

His favorite tv shows are WordWorld and The Mr. Men Show. His favorite movies of the year were Cars and Toy Story.

His favorite number seems to be "infinity" as that is the answer most commonly given but he continues to mix it up. His favorite color? "All of them!"

This year Dax was diagnosed with dermatographia which a bizarre condition in which even lightly scratching your skin causes raised, red lines. They really aren't sure what causes it. We changed EVERYTHING when he was diagnosed: his shampoo and soap, our laundry detergent, the lotion we used on his already dry, itchy, and sensitive skin. He's better, in general, but when he gets all worked up it really becomes an issue. And? Dax at four? Is all about getting all worked up.

He can be incredibly loving. He says to me, "Mommy, I like you. And I love you." This has extra special meaning to me so it nearly makes me melt. He tells me, "I want to be with you," as he reaches his little hand out to hold onto mine. He tells me he needs to be snug and that he wants to cuddle. He offers me random (and rare) kisses. He charms me with stories and makes me laugh with his antics. He amazes me every single day.

He can be an incredible pain in the butt. He searches vigilantly for our every button and pushes each and every one of them repeatedly. He is our First. He is our coach, our trainer, our sensei. Sometimes I find myself looking for television cameras, because, my God, we MUST be on one of those nanny shows in a segment where the parents clearly have their heads up their butts because The Trained Professional has not yet come to the rescue.

For every mistake I have made parenting him this year I deeply apologize (to both him and society) but I would imagine his baby brother is going to be really grateful to him for putting us through this boot camp and helping us to learn to be better, more patient parents (with far more creative means of ~~torture~~ discipline).

2008 was a huge year of firsts for Dax. First time to be a big brother. First tennis lessons. First karate classes. First time to be able to read (rather than only being read to). First trip to the dentist. And this year he'll be starting Kindergarten. We also figured out how to connect via web cam with his cousins and aunt and uncle in Virginia for the first time and we're really looking forward to more of that with them and with his grandparents in Colorado.

If there was a single resolution I wish he would set it would be to learn to tolerate disappointment better (for it is far from rare in this world). Otherwise, I hope he continues on the amazing path he is already on in 2009.